Dear moms of teenage girls,

Let me start off saying that Hubby is a youth minister and works very closely with some amazing girls. I am not faulting these girls in particular, this is a letter about teenage girls in general. Things that I have noticed about girls in public, on TV and on social media.

That being said....

Dear moms of teenage girls,
I am writing to you to share some insight from someone who not only was a teen just 10 years ago, but who also works closely with many teenage girls myself. I know how hard your job can be. Dealing everyday with the drama and attitudes and emotions that come with girls age 12-18 (heck even now in my late 20's I have some of the same issues), you should be given a gold star for everyday that is finished with everyone intact and still with their sanity. This letter is not to address that part of motherhood. This letter is to address the way your daughter is being seen in the public's eye.
Prom is a very exciting milestone in a young girls life. For most it is their first time to get dressed up and go out on their own, often with a date. They get a taste of adulthood within the limits set by chaperones.  I myself have some really great prom memories. This letter though is to address what your daughter is going to wear to her prom. 

With prom season fast approaching, I wanted this letter to reach you before you take your little girl shopping for the perfect gown. You see I have noticed a trend over the last few years regarding prom attire and it deeply worries me. Traditional girls wear long sparkling gowns that make them look like beautiful princesses. These dresses roughly cost around $100-200 (although I think I spend less than $50 on both of my prom dress combined).

 

See photos of me and my prom dates at the bottom of the post.

 However I have noticed a trend over the last few years that is becoming quite alarming. Gowns have become shorter and much more risque. 

These gowns are made to show off the body and prove how sexy you are. But before you say "oh how cute" remember that the models shown are probably in their 20's, and these dresses are being marketed to 16-18 year old girls. These dresses also often sell from $200-600, and trust me I have seen even more scandalous gowns.

I know when it comes to clothing and teen girls I often hear "You just can't find modest clothes anymore." This may be the case with everyday clothes, but when it comes to prom dresses I know that just isn't the case. I recently worked for a local dress shop. We did have a few "sexy" dresses, but most of our prom/homecoming/special occasion dresses were very tasteful. They were also very cute, had lots of sparkle and were often fun and exciting colors. All attributes that teenage girls want in a prom dress.

Sometimes it is impossible to control what your daughter does, but when you are shelling out hundreds of dollars for a dress they will wear one time, that is something you can control. 16 year old girls are not paying $600 of their own money for these risque dresses, instead it is their MOTHERS who are paying an extraordinary amount of money for what looks like a bra and some extra fabric. Instead of purchasing the "sexy" dress your daughter is begging you for, teach her how to respect her body. I know as a mother all I want to do is make my child happy, but I know that giving in to his every whim is not in his best interest. We as a community should ban together and say enough is enough. We no longer want our daughters dressing like sexy women, instead we want them to dress like the princesses they deserve to be. We should assist mothers who are guiding their daughters into women-hood and help stand against the culture that is over sexualizing teen girls.

We are all the time shocked by teen girls becoming sexually active, or pregnant in high school. But when we allow our daughters to wear barely nothing, we are allowing them to promote themselves as a sex symbol.

When your daughter's date sees her in a dress like this...

What he really sees is this...

Or worse.

It is amazing every year how many photos I see on Facebook or other forms of social media of girls wearing dresses just like these. Already this year I have seen people trying to re-sell dresses like these. Please, I ask before you take your daughter shopping for such an important piece of clothing, to remember that she still is your little girl. Please, join me in pushing back on society and saying that we will not allow our young girls in the community to become a sex symbol. Please, join me in saying Enough is Enough!!!


I truly hope that this post will reach at least one family who is struggling with the idea of purchasing this type of dress for their daughter. I hope that it makes us re-think our cultural views on how we want women/girls in our society dressing.

***All images are from Google image search. I have purposefully not attached the links to the photos because I do not want girls purchasing dresses like these. If you are the original owner of the photos I apologize for not giving you credit, but I feeling like by creating a link to your website defeats the purpose of this post.

 As promised, Junior and Senior year prom photos....................enjoy :)

 

What I learned from my week without Facebook

 

 

I have been leading a bible study on the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan for the girls in Hubby's youth group this summer. Each week I challenge them with an activity or something to help them get closer to God. One of our challenges was to give up something that distracts you from God and when you are faced with the temptation to instead reach out to God. It is sort of like the idea of lent except we only did it for a week. I chose to give up Facebook. I have the app on my phone and therefore check it multiple times a day.
During this week of fasting from Facebook, I learned a few things and I thought I would share:

1.  Facebook is a time sucker. When I added up all of the time I spent during the day swiping through my app it astonished me. Instead I channeled all of that energy into my bible app. I was able to read a few chapters at a time, and complete a bible study.
2. Facebook can be dirty. My week away I realized that I didn't miss the thousands of BuzzFeed and Huffington Post articles. Or the scandalous selfies taken by 14 year olds. Or the language. Or the hatred. Instead of surrounding myself in all of that, I surrounded myself in the love of Jesus.
3. Life goes on. As much as we sometimes feel like life revolves around us, when you take a brake from seeing your world on a web page, you realize that not only does that not define you, but everyone else moves on with their own life.

4. There is good in Facebook. I learned that there are actually some good qualities about Facebook, you can keep in touch with long lost friends, spread the word about events, good news and such, and keep all of your favorite memories in one place.

While I'm being honest here I have not deleted my Facebook page. In fact you can still follow me on it here. But I have cut down on the amount of time I spend on there. I have deleted friends who I feel are only about spewing things I don't want to read about (those who contribute to #2), and I have put down my phone and refocused on my job as a Mom.
I hope that you  take what I have said into consideration and I challenge you to take a break from Facebook too.

**Note. All opinions are my own, and the name Facebook is copyrighted.

My Bittersweet Goodbye

No-I'm not quitting blogging, this post is about my goodbye to breastfeeding. So here's your chance to leave before you find out all the dirty details. If you don't want to read on, I will forgive you and you are welcome to come back for the next post.


Ok, so I guess you are interested in breastfeeding. So here you go......

My entire childhood I always wanted to be a mother. I NEVER pictured myself breastfeeding though. I have an aunt who had 5 children and breastfed all of them. I thought it was disgusting and gross and I was sick of seeing her boob ALL THE TIME.
And then I got pregnant and read books upon books about babies. I read about the benefits of breastfeeding and all the other scientific info, and I read about the bonding you feel with your baby. So I decided I would at least give it a try. But then I became nervous....

Most pregnant women lay in bed at night and stress about labor and the pain of giving birth, not me, I lay in bed at night stressing about the difficulty of nursing and the pain and everything that comes with it. In fact I was talking to a friend a few months before I was due and she asked me how I was doing with the stress of labor, I replied "I'm actually not worried about labor, I'm worried about nursing. The labor pain will last for just hours, I think nursing is going to hurt a lot longer."-She then laughed at me and said "Its really not as bad as your thinking"

I continued to stress about it and flip flop back and forth about trying. I took a class with a lactation consultant and felt better about my decision. She assured me that (1) I would be able to succeed and (2) Its worth all the pain. I made a plan then to at least try to do it for the first 3 months. That way he would get the antibodies he needed and if I hated it, we could stop.

The day came, the best day ever, I got to meet my son. He was wonderful and more than I had ever pictured in my head. The love I felt from the moment I saw him was overwhelming and I don't think I stopped smiling for days. That night (he was born at 7:39pm) I tried to breastfeed for the first time. It was a total failure, but the nurse told me that he would be fine for the night and that we could try again in the morning and she would send in a lactation consultant. The next morning we tried again, and it was better. I was given a shield to help him latch (this would soon become a close friend). Little Man was tongue-tied and it was making it difficult, but I also wasn't producing enough milk so we started supplementing until my milk came in.

About a week after he was born we took him to see the doctor to get both his circumcision and his tongue clipped. It was a very hard day for me, but immediately he was better at nursing.There is also an amazing lactation clinic at my hospital that you can use for free if you give birth there. I went a couple times a week for the first 3 weeks and it was a huge help.

With the help of the shield I was able to breastfeed Little Man for 6 months. You are supposed to ween the baby off of the shield but after many tries, I realized that he was not willing to do it without, and so we just stuck with it. I probably would have continued to breastfeed longer if my milk would have kept up. I got really sick at the 5 month mark and my production dropped drastically. I was already taking supplements and things to help with production and they weren't helping. So I resulted to nursing just before bed at night and in the morning. After about 2 weeks of that he got frustrated with the flow of breast vs bottle and refused to continue. Now we are on all formula.

So there's my story. We had some struggles along the way, but when they talk about the bonding you feel, it is something you have to experience to understand. When I say bittersweet goodbye, I am talking about how much I will miss my special time with my little boy, and that look he gave me as he was nursing. But I'm glad to have my own body all to myself for the first time in over a year, and I won't miss the occasional pain, or pumping (I HAAATTEEEE pumping) or wearing nursing pads, or the annoyance when I feel like my boobs might explode if I don't pump or nurse. Overall, I wouldn't change my decision over the last 6 months, but now that it is over, I can enjoy watching Hubby feed him, or that cute little look he gets on his face when he sees the bottle. So if you are on the fence of breast or bottle, I suggest to at least give it a try. It's not for everyone, it does come with a price (and savings, we saved over $200 in formula), but it is worth it. I promise.

 

 

This is a video of him nursing. You do not see any boob, just Little Man, but you can see just how much he enjoyed himself. You do not have to watch, I won't be offended. (Ok I'm done with personal sharing time, contact me if you have any questions about my experience)

Lets Get Real-Judgement

(Quote from Mother Teresa)

I was in class on Sunday morning last week and we were discussing John 13:34
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

The greatest command we are given as Christians is to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. Second to love your neighbor as yourself. I got to thinking, do we as Christians love everyone as our neighbor, or just those we deem "loveable"? 

In this day in age we deal with people of ever gender, race, ethnicity, culture, sexual orientation, political views, eating habits and more. I will be the first to admit that I have/do judge others. This is my biggest sin that I deal with on a daily basis. I pray everyday for God to help me with this temptation, and I am working on it. But I see TV shows and read articles about how non-Christians perceive Christians. And it seems like the impression we give to others is one of judgement instead of the love we should be emitting. Why would some one want to listen to our message of love when they don't see us putting it into action?  

I do not want to get political in this post, I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and they can live how they choose. I just want to put a thought in your head about whether or not we are judging before we love. 

Lets work together to change others mindsets about us and prove that we truly can love the sinner and hate the sin.